Randomness

Haven't blogged in awhile so my brain is getting backed up with randomness. So bare with me.

First Jesus said, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." John 5:8... I love that Jesus is so simple and so direct in his directions. Others include "come" or "Believe." We try to take what He says and warp it into a million other things, things we have to do in order to be saved, in order to do before we live for Him. But He wants us here, He wants us now.

Natalie Grant song "Better Hands Now"... "It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down..." That summarizes my life in the last few years. Listen to the words, read the lyrics. When you choose to follow Him and realize you don't have to live another day as the world defines, you realize you are held and yet at the same time so free. You realize when the rain is pouring down, the SON is shining."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q27mNc9sE_I

Gotta run... not literally just figuratively :) 

Walking through...

2 more days of double facilities and maybe I can breathe again. It's a donut Thursday for this house so have a minute this AM.

Just was thinking this AM and wanted to share... the Bible says "Even thought I walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death..." It just hit me, it doesn't say camp out and live there forever, it says through.

Short and sweet, whatever valley you find yourself in today, it's just a time of passing through. Learn what is being revealed to you, believe God is still right there with you, and keep on. The view from the top is magnificant!

And was thinking should change the title of the blog to "What if WE LET it change our lives?" Why do we fight so hard for things of this world that do not mean a single thing in eternity and then also fight so hard against the things that matter so greatly in eternity??

Be here, now!

Dying...

Conversation today with a typical cooperative, good humored resident who always greets we with a "well I can't say I'm glad to see you" or "I was doing good until right now." It's all in good humor and like said typically cooperative and delightful.

The scene... Said patient is sitting in the activity room with eyes closed. I walk in and put my hand on one shoulder and kind of pat gently.

I say "Good Morning Patient. How are you today?"

Patient opens eyes and replies, "Dying."

I ask, "Did you say fine?"

Patient looks me in the eyes and says, "No, dying."

I say, "Let me go talk to the nurses."

Before I could get out the door I had tears running down my cheeks.

My question tonight is, aren't we all? Aren't we all dying? So then what did you do today that changed your life forever?

Be here, now!

(Answer: Too bad I can't put it in small font upside down! Every breathe you took today, every action, reaction, feeling and decision changed your life forever. The good, the bad, the indifferent it all changed your life forever)

What if He changed your life?

Grace Like rain...

Just had to post tonight. It's rained ALL day. Ok most of the day. I did get a 30 minute run in before it was raining and the air was thick and the clouds were thin, music was good and the stars were gorgeous :)

So whenever it rains all I can think of this song and the line "Grace like rain falls down on me..." The last night I heard this song was the night before June 15, 2010, the day my divorce was final. So that AM I wake up in a fog as I had wrestled and fought with God, pleaded, begged even that it wasn't for real the whole day and night before. Well it was real.

Went through the motions of the AM and got in my car. As I headed towards Dublin the darkest clouds ever rolled in and before I was at work it was pouring rain. Rained while I was at work and by the time I was at the courthouse in town by 9:30 (I believe) still raining. Go to court with this odd peace, this odd pressence with me as I sat as little Alisa alone at my own attorney table. It was done. What I thought would be forever was no more.

But it's no longer raining when I step out of the courthouse.

As I drive on 377 towards Granbury I remember pulling over and texting a friend to say "I just left behind the darkest clouds and rain but am driving into the most beautiful blue sky with fluffly white clouds." He texted back, "Do not LET your hearts be troubled..." I had read the same thing the night before and in John 14:27 "Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

The image was humbling. God's grace like rain falling down on me, little ole me who couldn't even make a marriage last. He still loved me, He still cared enough to let me know it would be alright. I cried as we drove towards Fort Worth but not tears of sorrow, tears of awe and peace. And I've never looked back to those dark clouds. Ok maybe I've glanced in the rear view mirror a time or two but it doesn't take me much to refocus on God and His awesome plans for me to know that it's going to be all right. Jesus just says "Come" to Peter out on the lake and when Peter looked in the rearview mirror so to say he simply cried "Lord save me." And He did. Wow!!

So why am I posting this tonight. Don't really know. Makes me think of a song "I'm not trying to be something I'm not. This is all I've got. I wear it on my sleeve." I guess all I have as a witness to the world is my past and what Jesus has done in my today to help me overcome it. And I pray each night that as much of a future as He gives me I will use each breathe to glorify Him. Someone needed to read this, or maybe I just needed to type it.

I ask yet again as I do with each closing... What if it changed your life? And I answer yet again today He has changed mine.

Great Night, take a minute to listen to the rain and remember... "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain!" I hope you dance!!

All Along...

Something happens inside of you when you wake up one day (Ok maybe it takes waking up lots of days before it sinks in??) and realize God IS love and all along He's been right in front of you. Not sure where this entry is going. This song says it all... "All along I was searching for somethine more, you're so much more." You will never find anything in this world to complete you. You will never find anything in this world that makes you whole. You have to give all your weaknesses, all your blemishes, all your rotten past mistakes, all the sins of tomorrow, ALL of it to Him.

On FB a friend has been posting verses from 1 Corinthians 13 about love. Why today at 35 it hit be (though glad today not tomorrow :) but God IS love. Given my history reading "Love never fails" in verse 8 and "but the greatest of these is love" verse 13 just would make me sad, mad, and disappointed. Love does fail, and if love is all I have left then crap my cup is empty? But wait. God IS love (see the imaginary 2x4 God keeps smacking me upside the head with lately :). You might be like me thinking Ok sure He is but He's still failed me and still not been there when I need Him. That's a lie of this world. I can sit here with a MAJOR history for of failed love from the world's perspective and thinking all love is gone and tell you God IS love! In what seems like it should me a very deep and long valley for me I see light, I feel love, I have peace and I know strength that I can not explain. I don't want to camp in this valley but it is this valley that has taught me SOOOO much. And I type today humbled that God still cares enough about me to show me His love and teach me His ways. (John 14:27)

Hebrews 13:5 "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

If I could shake your shoulders and you could see the tears in my eyes you might understand the passion in my heart about this. If you know me, I am a very passionate and sincere person. If in one minute you acknowledge that God is real, accept that Jesus is His son and died on the cross for your sins then why go on another day living like the rest of His word means nothing? It's full of His truths and really will "make your pathes straight." (Proverbs 3:6)

I have to close but could keep going... God IS love (I wish I could add audio where I could scream that at you and reach through your monitor and shake your shoulders!).

I ask you again, what if IT changed your life? What if you let "IT" be His love? And again I answer with tears in my eyes... He's changed mine!

Here are the lyrics to this song:

All along I was looking for something else, Youre something else

All along I was looking for something more, Youre so much more

I finally found what I could never see before

Youve always been the one that I was looking for

New Shoes & Trusting God

"Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. [a]"

OK... posted the above on Facebook this AM after lots of praying this AM. Just kept coming to my mind. God say "in ALL things..." Then got on here to blog and without doing anything but logging in a window tha tisn't familiar pops up and that scriputre was pasted in the post window. I had planned to post it but guess someone else did too!

So life... "sometimes my life just don't make sense at all..." comes to mind (from a song called Hold Me Jesus... originally Rich Mullins I believe).

Running sprints 3-4 houses down this AM in the coolness after the storm was awesome. Good tunes, old tennis shoes... wait I just bought new shoes and but was thinking the old shoes would still be comfortable and not get wet or muddy from the rain so I put the old ones on. I KNOW the new shoes are way more comfortable and way more supportive, they are what my crazy hang ten no arch feet need. But still I decided the old shoes would be best for this situation. Wait I decided. I was wrong. Ouch... my toes were rubbing again and the really left me disappointed and after the life lesson stopped about 10-15 minutes to come in here and post.

So let me break it down for you...

Running = life
old shoes = doing things MY way
new shoes = fully relying on, committed to, seeking and 100% crazy in love with God
wet rainy AM sprints = life situations

Life lesson...
when I find myself running on a wet rainy AM (fill in any difficult or uncertain life situation)

and put on my old shoes (decided that what seems like it is comfortable and familiar STILl just blisters your toes, ouch!)

when my heart knows what I should do is put on my new shoes (aka fully rely on, trust, seek, obey and depend on God that He knows the plans He has for me)

because with my new shoes on I WILL soar like an eagle (even if in reality I don't even sprint that fast :)!!

God knows the why, He orchastrates the how, and all I can do is seek Him and "be here, now!"

I humbly ask, yet again, what if it changed your life?
And simply say yet again, He has changed mine!!

Fear

Oh life has been busy... I say sometims lately I'm not sure I have time to breath! But praying come Monday I'll have a change in my work schedule and sit yet again in awe at the timing of God's perfect plan for me!!

But this AM wanted to share this....

So for 30 something years (I'm going to be 36 in a few months)  my biggest fear in life has been rejection and being along. Loooong story short because it's our 3rd day of school this AM  is that this world has been a long standing provider of rejection and lonliness.

But then one day I wake up and realize He's all I ever needed. WOW...sersiously a peace like I can't explain. My biggest fears washed away. Now I find the thought of ever losing His peace to be the biggest inspiration to live each day for each moment. It's a gift I've been given. No more going through the motions. I've said it before it may sound silly but all that matters in the end is an all out crazy love for God. Every choice I make each day I put through the test of "does this show my love for God?" Be it a treatment session with a crabby resident, an interaction with my ex-husband (talk about a source of feelings of rejection... ouch!!), a conversation with the checker at Walmart, you name it... does it glorify God?

"And I will walk by faith
Even when I can not see
Because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me."
Jeremy Camp - Walk by Faith

So what I asked yet again, What if it changed your life?