You can have me....

Woke up this AM to KLOVE streaming and the DJ mentioned that they had some thing on their website where you could submit the story behind a song that really touched your life or just meant a lot to you. Hmmm... I thought that's almost every song I hear :) Music moves me deeply, I really listen to the lyrics and it just moves me deeply.

So all day while running this AM, cleaning up my own garage, and then helping a friend's sister move that question of what song keeps going through my mind. I rarely think that much before I blog. I usually just sit down and start typing.

So right now it's the above song by Sidewalk Prophets "You Can Have Me".

Why? Let me see if I can share that answer, share my passion.

Almost exactly 2 1/2 years ago I realized my life as I knew it was forever changed. I knew all I had imagined it would be was going to change. Little did I know it would take another 18 months for me to be bold enough to stand on the promises of God and not settle for a life of less than He promises. Little did I know that in that 2 1/2 year time almost everything in my life would change, and change dramatically, and as I sit just 5 days from my 36th birthday that amongst so much change and uncertainty sit so at peace, so loved, so sure of my place in this world.

So that sounds a little bit like a canned answer to "I've found Jesus." But it's real, it's the truth, it's my passion. 2 1/2 years ago I literally fell on my knees in my dining room and prayed to the God I knew growing up and offered all of myself to Him. Nothing about my situation made any sense, the only sense was that God was bigger, stronger and in control and He would complete a good work in me. At that moment all I had to offer was my life, my very existence, each breathe I take.

So fast forward 18-20 months and again my entire life is still changing and going in directions I'd have never imagined.

Sidetrack: Running this AM with a friend I don't ever know the route. She tells me the approximate distance and then I just follow her. Near the end of the run I thought I saw a stop sign that would cross the major street to where her house sits on the corner. It was a ways off but I thought, good we are almost there. Then after we run another 1/2 block she says "Turn here." I didn't but wanted to say "What? Why? The end is so close... this detour was not in my plans!" But remember I don't know the route. I know we'll end up at her house though. So we turn and wind down this street and turn again only to then see her house. That route was shorter/easier and was actually the way we needed to go. So why am I chasing this rabbit?? I realized today on that run that often that's exactly what happens in our life. We know the ending, and we think we know the path, then God says "wait, turn here!" We resist, we hesitate, we try to plan, we analyze, etc, etc, etc. But in the end if we keep going the way we think we should we don't end up where God wants us. It's when we drop all of our preconceived notions and best drafted plans and dreams that we realize God's way is the only way.

So back to where I was... 18 - 20 months pass and my life is still changing... marital status changes, major job changes, family dynamic changes you name it its changing. I read a book by Brennan Manning and it simply says "Be here, now." Really all I have to do for God is "Be here, now." I can't change my past and worrying about the future does nothing productive. All I can do is give Him all of my life right now, these breathes? Sounds easy enough. And I found that when I actually let go, when I started reading His word 5-10 minutes a day, when I started praying and seeking His way, the path as been so much clearer. My perspective has changed, my motives have changed, my desires have changed, my life has changed more dramatically then the things I thought were causing so much change in my world.

So my answer... if you are still reading. This song sums it up. "I will love you enough to let go. Lord I'll give you my life. I'll give you my life. When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming? Forgetting what the world has told me. Well Father of love you can have me, you can have me. I want be where you are. I'm running into your arms. And I will never look back, no. So Jesus here is my heart. Yay... When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming? Forgetting what the world has told me. Father of love you can have me."

I ask again "What if IT changed your life?" What if...

Be here, now.