Peace

Peace.

Simple little 5 letter word has me blogging this AM. Up before 5 am, who'd have ever believed that! (and Mom it was without a fight and only one of the 4 alarms went off... yes I set four! LOL!!).

So what does peace mean? Wikipedia says "Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally and spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. Being "at peace" is considered by many to be healthy homeostasis and the opposite of being stressed or anxious."

So let me make a list here, in the last 2 1/2 years I've:
1) Moved too many times to count usually with a pack the whole house and move more than 5 hours one direction
2) Returned to work after being a stay at home mom, only to be driving all over 3 counties and then jumped ship and took a huge guaranteed pay cut and really uncertainty in hours
3) Grew and then gave birth to my sweet little curly haired youngest daughter
4) Discovered my marriage voes were a lie, confronted my now ex husband about it, only to then ask him to man up with God or move out and 18 months later and divorce was final 6 months later
5)  I am now a single mom, with three jobs... I'm mom, dad and I have paid employment

Ok so I think those are the major stresses in my life. But the odd thing is I sit here with the truest, deepest peace I've ever known. I get Phil 4:7 when Paul says "And the peace of God, WHICH TRANSCENDS ALL UNDERSTANDING,..." There is only one explanation... I sit here with the Jesus Christ at the center of my life, acknowledging that He controls my future and when I seek Him, He promises to "prosper and not harm" me and to give me "hope and a future." So with my eyes fixed on how this story ends (I'm standing before my King, with the only acceptable representation Jesus Christ standing next to me and He knows my name!!!) I can get out of bed each day, face it head on, and have peace that even I can't explain.

And therefore I blog this AM about that simple 5 letter word. Peace is 100% crazy love (stole from Frances Chan), obedience and passion for our God. Peace that is indescribable comes through knowing Jesus Christ, knowing Him intimately, acknowledging Him daily with each breathe He gives.

My pastor challenges the church body to read His word individually and to know what it says for yourself. His challenge is 5 min a day for 7 days... let's just say I get up at 4:45 am now because I need and have a passion to be in His word for much longer than that. Anyway... I took that challenge late January 2010 really as a skeptic. I mean I knew God, I believed in Jesus but I had no idea of the life changing effect His living word would have in my life. Peace.

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not LET your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (words spoken by Jesus).

So once again I close with "What if it changed your life?" But today I'll also ask... Do you know Him? Do you live each breath that He gives for Him? Do your actions, your thoughts, your attitudes, your service honor Him? If you know Him do you really acknowledge Him in your daily life? What if it changed your life?

And you could probably answer that for me without a closing but for those who might be reading this for the first time I'll answer with, "He (the Prince of Peace) has changed mine."

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. God

Randomly opened up my little "God Speaks Devotional" book this AM and that title was the page I opened up to. Then went to check on any updates on Kenna Emmons (my girl's 8 year old second cousin who has Combined Immune Deficiency and had a bone marrow transplant. She is not fighting graft versus host disease (GVH) and the road has been rough to say the least. Reading through some of her mom's updates I realized Kenna is the the face of courage that knows God and has said her prayers.

How many of you reading this sit today worried about your life and death physical health? Not many.

How many of you reading this sit today worried about what you'll eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner tonight? Not Many (Maybe it's not what you want but most certainly you'll have something to fill your stomach)

How many of you reading this sit today worried about protecting your family from the elements? Not many (because even if you lost the house you live in now, you'd go somewhere to a safe and secure shelter of some sort)

I guess my point in blogging this AM is this... we sit blessed beyond what we could ever even imagine but yet I'm not sure sometimes that what we often see as blessings don't also hinder our growth in Him. I think often the "comforts of this world" leave us too comfortable, too unwilling to step out in faith, with our fears wrapped in prayer, to really live this life.

I believe now is the time to start taking those steps. Read a little wall sign the other day and should go back and buy it to hang above my computer as a reminder it said "Faith: Start where you are and take the next step." Faith doesn't always have to be this giant leap into the depths of the unknown (though sometimes you might be called to do such a thing), sometimes it is simply being willing to take those small steps that in the end add up and put you right where God wants you. And when you wake up one day and realize you are resting with peace in His arms, you fill find that courage really is fear that's said it's prayers.

Go ahead... what do you have to lose? What if it changed your life?

And I think you know my answer :)

Be here, now!!

What if...

So this blog came about because of a ton of "What if" questions that would swirl around my mind as I was driving, any time I was alone actually. About the same time was reading a book recommended by a friend (Thanks S.M.) called "The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning. I couldn't put it down. And I thought "What if it changed your life?" What if...

So this many months later I just finished rereading this book again. And I find myself in the dark of my sisters office on an old and slow IBM laptop asking "What if it changed your life?" I mean really. What if it did? What if we quiet holding on to the things of this world that mean absolutely nothing? That tomorrow could be gone? Heck forget about tomorrow what if they were gone 5 minutes from now? What am I talking about... I'm talking about 'things', possessions, fears, relationships, fill in the blank.

This entire blog has been a journey for me. I woke up one day both literally and figuratively and my eyes were wide open to the reality that "but if all that we do is absent of Jesus, then this so called love is simply in vain" (Mercy Me song BTW). Just recently heard that song but that was what was going through my head. What is this life about? Why are we here? What if we started living like eternity mattered? What if we started living like the "things" we collect on Earth is nothing compared to our rewards in heaven. What if we actually believed in our God who loves us so much he sent his son and that belief in turn motivated our actions and our daily lives?

I'm not saying that the things of this world are useless or all bad. I'm just saying what if instead of our focus being on those things, and our focus being trying to keep up with the Jones' and trying to impress people we don't even know, we really began living with a humble attempt at doing what Jesus says "Love the Lord God with all your heart.... and love your neighbor as yourself"?

What if we acknowledged our faults, quit trying to hide our sins, and showed the world through our lives that the love of God does really set us free, that a love so amazing we can't even begin to comprehend it? What if...

Ugh... could go on all night I think. I normally sleep great, bed heaven was by far in my life one of my best purchases of "things" ever :) (FYI... bed heaven is my name for the TemperPedic bed I bought with college graduation money... no fancy vacation for me, nope a new bed... hahaha!) However tonight I'm out of town and not in bed heaven. I'm thinking there is a big possibility that I'll toss and turn all night because this is on my mind and in my heart. Actually, I'll go to bed with peace. I will pray that those that read this will be moved, moved to live the life they are called to live in the SON! I will pray for God's peace that has been daily evident in my life in the last 2 1/2 years to allow me to sleep peacefully tonight. I want to change the world, I want to shake the world by it's collar and say "Jesus Saves!!"

But for now my audience is you, so I ask....

What if changed your life?

And once again I'll answer "HE has changed mine." HE is a living God. HE is the reason we have breathe, HE is the one I will stand before someday and give an account to. HE thankfully sent His Son to stand with me and HE knows my name.

Heard a youth pastor pray one night and he just said, "Passion or burn." I'm stealing that line tonight. My choice is passion and there is nothing that can stop it.

Focus

That title made me laugh. I am a very motor driven person and focus is sometimes difficult for me to achieve without some type of motor involvement. Therefore, when needing to sit and listen I am usually chewing gum, gummy candy or playing with my pen or some other type of hand fidget. In addition I must need lots of proprioceptive (joint compression) input because I'm always shifting in my chair, maybe it's the motor not the proprioception??

See what I mean... Focus is the topic and I cant' even get the first sentence typed without losing focus.

At a DivorceCare group tonight and reminded about Jesus walking on water (yes again)! In Matthew 14:22 and following the scene goes like this. Jesus walks on the water out to the boat. Peter almost challenges Jesus and says "If it's you Lord tell me to come." Well Jesus says just that, "Come." And Peter focused on Jesus begins to walk towards him. Then Peter loses focuses and the scripture says that as Peter began to sink he cried out "Lord save me!"

Got to thinking tonight and have been thinking about this actually for several months... why do we wait when Jesus says "Come." And then why when we lose focus are we so hesitant to just cry out "Lord save me!"??

Just where my brain is tonight.

So I ask, "What if it changed your life?"

Don't say no one ever told you...

...because maybe you just didn't listen or were not able to hear.

OK so this AM on Facebook I felt compelled to post "Why didn't someone tell me about this sooner?" That prompted a few comments, texts and messages about "Tell you what?" Wasn't exactly sure what I was talking about when I posted that other than the fact that life can really be much "easier and lighter" than we attempt to make it.

I have spent years, 36 in 2 days so probably 25+ years of my life, attempting to be in control of it. Too much has happened in my life from an early age that was sooo completely out of my control I fought hard to keep the little bit I held onto so dearly under my control. There were times in my past I was convinced I was in control. I made the choices, I made the plans, I dreamed the dreams, I thought I had it all under control. Then one day you wake up and realize that was such a big fat lie, you have never had one lick of control, just perceived control. I spent soooo much energy and time fighting hard for "Something I don't really want then take what you give and I need" (yes, surprise, surprise... song lyrics).

So I'm prompted to say on Facebook this AM "Why didn't someone tell me about this sooner?" only to answer my own question with "someone probably did and you were not able or ready to listen and hear."

But tonight I type this and can say I hear it now. God is, was and will continue to be in control. Total submission to His will is so freaking freeing and you really can trade your heavy burden for easy and light. He really will direct your paths and He really will never leave you or forsake you. From today forward, believe that Christ died for you, ask Him sincerely to be your personal savior, and then hold on tight for the ride of your life. You will change, how much depends on how willing you are to submit (gosh said that word 2 times, and yet the world sees submission as powerless and I find it being so powerful?!) Note: Check out the Frances Chan balance beam YouTube video posted previously

I don't know. I could yell at you, whisper it softly, write you a letter, text or e-mail and you might not be at a place of really being able to hear the message. It really is The GOOD NEWS, Christ died for me and you. He is everything and enough.When push comes to shove and this life ends all that matters, when you die and stand before the King is does His one and only son Jesus know your name? Nothing else matters... not relationships, not kinship, not possessions, not job titles, not how much money we made, not skills we were so proud of, nothing else matters.

So I guess I'll close tonight with a link to a page that talks about salvation, what it is, and how to receive it. It's free, God offers it to all, some hear, some believe and some are changed for ever.

http://www.gotquestions.org/Romans-road-salvation.html

What if it changed your life? Are you willing to give it all up to hear, believe and be forever changed? Are you willing to find that letting go let's you really come alive(yes another song:)? Are you willing to stop fighting for what you don't really need and accept what is given freely? 

P.S. Now you can't say why didn't someone tell me sooner :)

Love your neighbor as yourself....

OK if I could this AM I'd grab you by your shirt collar and if you aren't that much bigger than me I'd shake your shoulders and say "Do you get it?" What's the it you ask? Let me try to answer...

All day yesterday, last night and now this AM I just keep having the same thing running through my head. And it's not just a random thought, it's passion, it's consuming me. It's when Jesus gives us the greatest commandments in Matt 22:37-40 and says the greatest is to love the Lord your God and the second is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Wait? When did "love ourselves" come in first place? When did we start thinking outside of self and realizing that we aren't in our own little worlds?

This song was streaming on my alarm when I woke up this AM?? See the thought won't go away!? Setting my alarm "So Long Self" by Mercy Me was on?!

So yesterday I'm thinking how come we drive by "that house" day in and day out of our neighbor not even sure what they look like, certainly don't know their names, and yet grumble under our breathe that their yard isn't mowed. When if we took the time to say hello we'd realize it's a single mom, raising 3 kids on her own, working 2 jobs, and her dad just came to live with her on hospice (hypothetical situation, I'm just sayin'). We can make excuses and say "Oh I am sooooo busy. Oh I have this that and the other commitments." I say hogwash. Did you notice the I in those sentences, we are back to self.

Sometimes in life when we see activities, entertainments and the like as being lost we feel like we won't be enjoying life to the fullest. Heaven forbid we wouldn't have the newest, nicest flat screen TV on the block, or that our car might have some scratches on the hood and a dent in the fender, or that our kids might take one season off from their 5th sport of the year?? I'm not calling any of that bad I'm just thinking it completely takes us away from those 2 commandments in Matthew 22. We allow those things to completely consume OUR lives and then we are left just rushing around, forgetting Matthew 22.

Oh and I'm the first to admit I am a sinner and guilty as any of putting self first. Just something to think about as you go about your day. What might it be? Maybe it's as simple as pulling your neighbors trashcans in for them? Maybe it's mowing their yard without even asking, just because it needs it and really it only takes like an extra 15 minutes? Maybe it's bigger... maybe it's paying for someones groceries a the store? Maybe it's even bigger like taking a day off from the sports field and serving others in some capacity?  I don't know.

But what if IT changed your life? Let me know how it goes because I'll close with IT has changed mine :)

Be here, now!

You can have me....

Woke up this AM to KLOVE streaming and the DJ mentioned that they had some thing on their website where you could submit the story behind a song that really touched your life or just meant a lot to you. Hmmm... I thought that's almost every song I hear :) Music moves me deeply, I really listen to the lyrics and it just moves me deeply.

So all day while running this AM, cleaning up my own garage, and then helping a friend's sister move that question of what song keeps going through my mind. I rarely think that much before I blog. I usually just sit down and start typing.

So right now it's the above song by Sidewalk Prophets "You Can Have Me".

Why? Let me see if I can share that answer, share my passion.

Almost exactly 2 1/2 years ago I realized my life as I knew it was forever changed. I knew all I had imagined it would be was going to change. Little did I know it would take another 18 months for me to be bold enough to stand on the promises of God and not settle for a life of less than He promises. Little did I know that in that 2 1/2 year time almost everything in my life would change, and change dramatically, and as I sit just 5 days from my 36th birthday that amongst so much change and uncertainty sit so at peace, so loved, so sure of my place in this world.

So that sounds a little bit like a canned answer to "I've found Jesus." But it's real, it's the truth, it's my passion. 2 1/2 years ago I literally fell on my knees in my dining room and prayed to the God I knew growing up and offered all of myself to Him. Nothing about my situation made any sense, the only sense was that God was bigger, stronger and in control and He would complete a good work in me. At that moment all I had to offer was my life, my very existence, each breathe I take.

So fast forward 18-20 months and again my entire life is still changing and going in directions I'd have never imagined.

Sidetrack: Running this AM with a friend I don't ever know the route. She tells me the approximate distance and then I just follow her. Near the end of the run I thought I saw a stop sign that would cross the major street to where her house sits on the corner. It was a ways off but I thought, good we are almost there. Then after we run another 1/2 block she says "Turn here." I didn't but wanted to say "What? Why? The end is so close... this detour was not in my plans!" But remember I don't know the route. I know we'll end up at her house though. So we turn and wind down this street and turn again only to then see her house. That route was shorter/easier and was actually the way we needed to go. So why am I chasing this rabbit?? I realized today on that run that often that's exactly what happens in our life. We know the ending, and we think we know the path, then God says "wait, turn here!" We resist, we hesitate, we try to plan, we analyze, etc, etc, etc. But in the end if we keep going the way we think we should we don't end up where God wants us. It's when we drop all of our preconceived notions and best drafted plans and dreams that we realize God's way is the only way.

So back to where I was... 18 - 20 months pass and my life is still changing... marital status changes, major job changes, family dynamic changes you name it its changing. I read a book by Brennan Manning and it simply says "Be here, now." Really all I have to do for God is "Be here, now." I can't change my past and worrying about the future does nothing productive. All I can do is give Him all of my life right now, these breathes? Sounds easy enough. And I found that when I actually let go, when I started reading His word 5-10 minutes a day, when I started praying and seeking His way, the path as been so much clearer. My perspective has changed, my motives have changed, my desires have changed, my life has changed more dramatically then the things I thought were causing so much change in my world.

So my answer... if you are still reading. This song sums it up. "I will love you enough to let go. Lord I'll give you my life. I'll give you my life. When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming? Forgetting what the world has told me. Well Father of love you can have me, you can have me. I want be where you are. I'm running into your arms. And I will never look back, no. So Jesus here is my heart. Yay... When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming? Forgetting what the world has told me. Father of love you can have me."

I ask again "What if IT changed your life?" What if...

Be here, now.